Self Doubt and What the Hell Did I Sign Up For?

Yesterday I ran a simple 3.5 mile run. I have done this run a million times. It sucked. And all the while I kept saying to myself "how in the world and I going to run 13.1 miles after a long hard 55 mile bike ride,if I can't even run a decent short run? What the hell did I sign up for?" I kept thinking to myself over and over I'm not going to be able to do this. It's weird some days I feel like I can conquer the world and go fast and try to be a superstar and other days just blow! Yesterday was one of those days for sure. It also doesn't help that you have two ginormous hills I must walk up because of my IT band, it makes for god-awful average running pace. Which then makes me feel even slower.

Okay, running is not my thing. I can say I enjoy it on occasion but most of the time it feels like a real chore to me. It's hard, I'm not fast I make up any excuse in the book as to why I need to stop:

my ponytail isn't tight enough
my shoelaces are too loose
my nose is running
I need to check my phone
I can't change the song on my iPod without stopping
My sunglasses are all fogged up
I need to stretch my hip
My knee hurts (that's legit)
and on and on and on

When I got home from my run I decided to pick up the lastest Triathlete magazine. I hate that magazine. You want to feel self-defeated, pick up one of those puppies. Of course they are going to feature all of the top altheletes in the sport, feature gear that is so expensive, but "so needed" (according to them) and people with all the time in the world that they can dedicate to training their tushies off. Blarghhhhhhhh! I want to read about real people who have a hard time fitting it all in. I want to read about real people using old gear, used gear and don't have the latest and greatest bike but do their best to cross the finish line!

Anyway, back to the grind today! Not sure what I am doing tonight. I think it's supposed to be a swim and run, but I already swam a ton this week, I need to focus on my bike and run, so maybe I'll do that!

Happy Training!